Me.

yesterday i bought a hat. it is an owl. the day before that i saw a girl fall out of a truck and almost get run over. her mom's scream still echos in my head. i love having short hair. once as i was walking into the restroom in high school a lady said "this is the girls." i started growing my hair out the next day and didn't cut it short for three years. now it is short people think i'm a lesbian. too bad for them i like boys. my first kiss was so awkward i thought i was bad at kissing. his first child was born yesterday with the girl he used me to cheat on. i hate him. seven students died during my high school years. i always wondered if i would be next. realizing you're not invincible is harsh. my greatest fear is losing contact with my best friends. sometimes this makes me feel overbearing. when i was born the doctor wasn't  even there. everyone thinks i'm really smart. i always felt like it was an act. i'm what people want and i don't like that. i lost thirty pounds but still feel fat. i'm deathly afraid of the unknown. most of the time knowing is worse though. i speak to my heart. some days it's all i have. i want someone to want me. want me for all of me.